Euphoria .

Tuesday, April 5, 2016 @ 5:58 AM with 0 comment(s)

So I was googling "best platforms for blogging", and I read many articles that said that "blogger is dead".

I guess while doing my resume for tomorrow's COM317 class, I realized that my hope to get into the PR industry requires me to get a lot more of my online identity as public and professional.

It's kinda scary putting out your professional identity. I mean, growing up, I've always been told that the minute I post something on the Internet, it's there for the rest of my life. *flashback to haunting image of my Friendster profile picture where I was wearing a tank top at P5 trying to look...cute...EEEEP.*

Yeah, I'm hoping never to go back there ever again.

But anyways, with that being said, I guess it's time for me to make my identity more professional, and hopefully with the new app I can blog easier, because honestly, the blogger app is horrible.

I probably wouldn't have thought of changing platforms if it wasn't for the fact that the interface is so user unfriendly. *note to self on how UX is as important as I thought it was*

Well, I guess with that being said,

See you at carissablogsthings.wordpress.com

LOL. look at me being absolutely creative at my URLs.

xx,

Find Rest My Soul, In Christ Alone.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016 @ 8:20 AM with 0 comment(s)

Hello first post of 2016!

I can't believe this year is finally here. (:

I know this year is going to be a really eventful year. For one, THIS YEAR I TURNED 21!

Celebrated it with all my loved ones and also went for the first ever staycaytion with my two loves.

AND.

I FINALLY GOT TO DYE MY HAIR.

Unfiltered and unwashed. LOL.

but sigh. I miss this Colour. It's now faded to this...bright red, which is fine but I can't wait for it to fade even more so I can start playing with it. (:

Freshly dyed hair. Come back. ):

Anyways, that's pretty much all my milestones so far.

It's my second week of school and workload is really starting to kick in. I'm thankful though, that I'm adjusting okay, and I've made new friends! Yay!! So many nice new friends. (:

I've also taken up roles in Cru, church and other areas. I think it's about taking small steps to further improve my time management and not make excuses when it comes to serving God.

This week was probably one of the busiest weeks I've had in a while. I usually don't like packing my timetable bit back to back meetings have been happening this ENTIRE week and I've been kind of stressing myself out not because of the workload or whatever but just personal expectations. Maybe it's actually adrenaline rather than it is stress. But anyways, I guess for the first time in a while, I also feel quite fulfilled.

I believe it's because of the things I'm investing my time in, and it's what I know I'm getting the privilege to serve in all these areas. (:

Find rest my soul, in Christ alone.

Know His power, in quietness and trust.

Happy-tired. It's an interesting feeling being added to my vocabulary. (:

Have a great CNY everyone!

On being a student again.

Monday, November 23, 2015 @ 10:08 AM with 0 comment(s)

The first time I tried to write this post, it was 1am and I had to stop because I had morning lessons the next day. The second time I tried to complete this post, I wrote 3 full paragraphs, but forgot to press save and everything got deleted. And because that happened, I lost ALL motivation to type it all over again. This is my third attempt. Let's hope it goes well. Haha. I figured that before one season of my life is over, I shall update this space about the new milestone I am currently in - I am now a university student.

It's crazy. I remember in primary school, how I used to write compositions about myself being a university student in fictional situations, thinking that it was SO far away, and here I am today.

It's ~~week 4, almost a month~~ ~~been just over a month~~ two months (I am a horrible procrastinator can you tell.) since I started university at SIM under University at Buffalo. I'm pursing Comms and Sociology.

It's been a really interesting journey full of changes and yet, surprisingly, some things still remain the same.

Changes would include how I now have to take exams.

After not having to study ANYTHING from a textbook for the longest time, memorizing 6 chapters in 3 weeks while consecutively studying for 3 other modules is not fun at all (and I'm not even doing 5 mods like my other course mates) I can't and won't compare this to design life because this is definitely a completely different experience to designing something. I still strongly believe that being a design student is in NO way easier than being a student following the "mainstream" academic route.

Another major change? The traveling time. I've studied in the east since kindergarten and waking up 1 hour in advance was enough to let me take my own sweet time to get ready and travel to school. Now? I have to wake up close to 2 hours in advance just so I can take that 1.5 hour journey to school. I literally wanted (some days I still do) to die every single morning because I hate waking up so early that much. WHO FUNCTIONS AT 5AM? NOT ME.

Also I really miss TP school food. Haha. Of all the canteens I've had, TP is still the best. I really wish I could spend more time eating there. Actually I miss quite a lot of things from TP. I miss the library and our PID studio. I never thought I'd miss having "my own space" but I realized the value of that now.

As for changes, it's nice to finally be able to understand what you're learning. And I really enjoy my major. Although I'm doing really basic modules but I really enjoy the insights I get from learning things like the stages of communicating, micro expressions, and sociology is lots of fun too.

Also another major change I've noticed is my in participation of group work. I honestly disliked group work in design just because I knew that I was the weakest link and I couldn't really do much but research, present and play "creative director"...well. Mostly because I couldn't draw for nuts. And a lot of times that's what we needed to do. Many projects were also done with the PID BFF aka "GPA 3.9 Top student and can do everything better than me (except EQ skills. I win him in that, that's for sure) " and my presence and whatever little skills, were rendered irrelevant. But now group work is really enjoyable because I can actually contribute to things. It's good to finally not feel like the leech.

There are some things that I wish would change instead of remaining the same though, for example, my self-esteem. When in design, I knew that I wasn't in my forte. I thought that when I study communications, I won't be struggling as much and that I'd finally be able to be in my comfort zone and perhaps finally understand what it means to have a sense of achievement. I was so wrong. Now, I find myself severely lacking and in the bottom percentile, again. I used to think my presentation skills were ok, that I could write. But each assignment I submit, and I don't get the grades I expect, or I get comments that I have so many weaknesses to improve, I don't think it's a matter of having "unrealistic expectations", but rather just the crushing reality that...well. I guess I'm just not what I think I am. I may be getting full marks in certain assignments, but so is literally 98% of the class. I pass a test,but everyone else is getting A or a high B. It's honestly extremely discouraging. I genuinely thought I found my strength, but now I'm left to wonder if I have any at all.

On a brighter note, I'm so thankful that I found friends who I can interact with in school. Spam of Pictures coming through!

My OG! UB Camp definitely exceeded my expectations. I will always carry the love for design school and design spirit is something that I confidently say will NEVER be found in any other camp, but UB camp was still really enjoyable. (: Looking forward to be a GL in the next camp.

My Cru family! Yeah I guess I would consider them family already despite the short period of time I've known them. I think it is through this community that God continuously shows and reminds me that I'm in the right school. I feel right at home with them and they make me feel really welcomed.

And my first DG. Yay!

(Ft my super amazing awesome lecturer Amanda. She's the one staking directly behind me. Also she touched my shoulder. *fangirls* lol. )

(The peeps that have to suffer morning class with me.)

And then there's friends who I've met while doing different modules. So far I've got really great group mates which are I'm so thankful for and I'm so happy that I've found such a large range of friends.

And with that, I finally end my post about the start my university life. I feel that I should be writing a lot more. But as for now, assignments call.

Take care lovelies.

xx,

Encountering God at #Creation15.

Sunday, July 19, 2015 @ 10:41 PM with 0 comment(s)

I believe I encountered God during WORD/Creation Rally 2015.

My first experience with Creation Rally was in 2013. As someone who connects with lyrics of songs and just loves music in general, I enjoyed all the songs that were sung,played and just the general atmosphere of worshipping God with many other fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I told myself that I would be back for the next one for sure.

I'm not too sure why I didn't go for #Creation14, I didn't hear any news about it at all, but I was happy when I finally heard about Creation 15. I would finally get to go for hours of singing with cool music and dancing, PLUS, no 1 hour sermons!! (Yay!)

It also helped that the team for #Creation15 were great in building up the hype by organizing visits to the church, doing workshops like word X, plus as a design student, I could appreciate the typography and graphics on all the ads and slides which were #OnPOINT.

When the day of WORD came, I woke up and found myself in an great state of pain as my ongoing problem of chronic stomach pains came back to me, and my clumsy self seemed to have hit my head on the wall in the middle of my sleep. (I still don't know how it happened.) It was quite bad ; I couldn't walk properly and I was feeling nauseous the entire morning/afternoon. I was confined to my room, thus having to miss WORD usher duty, but by 5pm, I was able to stand and a (literally) hobbled to the bus stop and made my way to Calvary Baptist from the East. (Talk about walking the road to Calvary. Gosh, our God has a wonderful sense of humor. (: ) I just really didn't want to miss WORD.

The set started great, and I even managed to stand up for majority of the first set and briefly wave my hands around during the fast songs.

My encounter started during the message shared by Pastor Philip.

The parts of the message that spoke to me was:

1. Don't say you want the will of God, and then take one step back.

Sometimes the will of God starts speaking to you in an inaudible voice, and then as it slowly gets louder, you realize you can use the excuse of "I think I hear wrongly" because you aren't comfortable with what God is asking you to do. I found myself reflecting if I was reading the bible intentionally or if I was afraid to do so, in case I was going to hear God's instructions which I didn't want to follow. Was I going against what I said I wanted for my life?

2. God has a SPECIFIC design and purpose for you.

"I want you to circle the word SPECIFIC" said Pastor Philip.

At this point in my life where I've been sharing with multiple people how I am completely lost and without any confidence on my next milestone in life, I was reminded again that God made my exactly the way I was and gave me the exact talents and gifts he did, so that I could serve him TOTALLY.

"Talents and gifts will not make ANY spiritual impact" unless it is used for God. What kind of impact was I making? None at all? Temporary kinds of the world? Eternal ones for God's glory?

3. A person used by God puts God's call above self limitations.

I'm so thankful for this apt reminder because despite all my failings, disobedience, struggles and sins, God will decided to encourage me with this point and used it to remind me of His love for me. That despite my weakness, I could always find strength and refuge in him. I could approach him for forgiveness no matter how many times or how broken a state I am in each time.

"In my weaknesses you are my confidence" those were the lyrics that rang loud in my head as we got to the last few songs of the night. I am overwhelmed with the measure of God's grace, love and mercy for me that he would choose to remind me of his love in my time of need.

As we got to the alter call of the night, I told myself that I didn't want to go up, because early this year, I already rededicated my life and service for God. I told myself I didn't want to go up because I didn't want to "lose the meaning of rededication", when in actual fact, it was my pride stopping me from responding.

As Pastor Philip was calling for the different groups of people to step out, each time I would be like "nope. Not me not me not me." , "nope. I don't need to go up. I can pray it right here." And the best part was when Pastor added the last call along the lines of "for those who want to hear God's voice but you need to overcome a temptation. You need to guard your heart." By that moment, I was already in tears because of my conviction that it was exactly what I needed to confess and repent from, but I still refused to step out.

"That's not me. I'm not facing any temptation. If I step out, it means I'm admitting that my struggle is wrong. But it's not wrong! It's not me. He's talking about all those other people stepping out. You see? It can't be me."

But yet, finally, just as Pastor Philip was about to start praying, he gave the option to "raise your hands" as he prays if you need that prayer.

How amazing God's love, that he wants everyone to respond!

I saw that as my window of opportunity and took the physically tiniest step, but emotionally largest jump I have ever taken, from my seat, and raised my hand as high as it would go, without attracting any attention to myself, thus confessing that I was indeed one of the people that needed prayer.

I never went out on stage that night. My alter call happened right at my seat.

I was never comfortable with the phrase "encountering God". I've always been associating it with HUGE and dramatic events and large signs. I imagined encountering God as Him coming into my body and filling me with the spirit so I could miraculously understand Greek, finally pass my Chinese exams, or I would see visions and pictures of what my future would look like or I would hear God's voice "Carissa, you are going to marry ______. Go and find him now, he is in ________". I would be healed from my stomach ache, I would feel INVINCIBLE and SOAR on the wings of Eagles which were now my feet!

Yeah. But, none of that happened.

I left the church, stomach still uncomfortable, a clear reminder of how weak and helpless I was without God, but a renewed hope and call to obey and respond to God.

"A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17

My encounter with God was nothing like my expectations, but everything I needed to hear. God gave us the most powerful gift, of free will, and unless we put down our pride and respond in obedience, we can't blame God for not speaking to us.

I'm thankful for my experience in WORD, the promptings I received that night, the opportunites that came after so that I could apply what I said I would do, and most of all I'm thankful that I am on a journey and have a relationship, with a God such as mine.

xx,

Marathons.

Sunday, June 28, 2015 @ 10:29 AM with 0 comment(s)

ITS BEEN LIKE. MONTHS SINCE MY FYP WAS OVER AND GUESS WHO GRADUATED?? YAS ME. THANK YOU GOD.

Haha. Hello lovlies. I'm back. (:

Well. Not sure how long "me being back" will last, but I figured if I do get into the course I applied for, I'm going to have to do A LOT of brushing up on my writing. So I guess I should get to doing it now huh?

But then again, I do enjoy this space just being a place that I get to ramble and visualize my thoughts as and when I like.

It's been months since I graduated and as of then it's been a pretty eventful month of June. Well. Not exactly productive, but other than mission trips and family trips, the most recent thing I've been doing? Marathoning...White Collar.

The conclusion? The ending is good. I did spoil it for myself by skipping episodes and reading what happened in the end because I heard that the ending was the kind that I really dislike. But in the end it wasn't, so. Well. If I knew that, I would have watched it till the end. But Idefinitely recommend "White Collar" to anyone who wants a good crime series to watch (after Mentalist. It's still my fave.)

But seriously, after this whole series? My Matt Bomer obsession is back.

LIKE. CAN WE JUST.

WHAT EVEN. IS THIS.

I CANNOT. OK.

It's slightly better now that I've ended the series and I don't see his face for like more than 8 hours in a row being extremely attractive and intelligent and whatever. But still.

Fangirl moment over. I'm back.

I've also decided that I'm going to be putting more effort into my BTT. lol. It's been ages since I even bothered studying but I really wanna learn how to drive and I'm just going to have to find some motivation to study again, even if it's something as "simple" as BTT.

Yeahhh.

I'm going to end this whole post with a really short quiz. (:

1. Are you a very open or private person?

I'd like to think I'm a pretty open person and i enjoy having HTHTs with anyone I can talk to but that is in no way a measure of the closeness to the person. To (shamefully) quote thought catalogue, "the weirdest mix of super private and an open book that you'll ever meet."

2. What is your favourite Christmas movie?

I'm honestly not sure what counts as a Christmas movie and I don't think I have a favourite.

3. When did you stop believing in Santa?

I never did. Well. I did always know there was this Saint Nicholas or something but other than that, Singapore never had a roof for him to squeeze though and give me presents, so...

4. What do you get complimented on the most?

My friendliness probably.

5. How are you feeling right now?

Moderately sleepy. It's 230am.

6. If money was no object, where would you move to?

A bigger house with lots of animals and a swimming pool.

7. Who was the last person to make you cry?

Ummm. This is really irrelevant because I cry way too freaking easily. Probably someone I had a Htht with. I can't keep track.

8. Did you make any resolutions for this year? What were they?

Yes. To do 3 push ups. LOL. How embarrassing.

9. Is there a song which can bring you to tears instantly?

Errrrrr. Whatever song is the most relevant to me at that moment. A lot of songs have brought me to tears before.

10. Who was the last person you talked about sex with?

Probably Leanna. I can't rememeber.

11. How did you bring in the New Year?

This new year...was spent with my youth group. (:

12. Have you ever online dated?

Nope.

13. Post a screen shot of your Twitter “Interactions” page.

14. Click on the messages tab on Facebook, post a screen shot (erase surnames for safety).

15. Post a screenshot of your tumblr activity page.

16. Do you believe in soul mates?

Following that definition, yes. I do.

17. Do you play video games?

Yupps!

18. What age do people usually mistake you for?

Errrr. 22?

19. What or whom do you miss right now?

A lot of people. And also I miss eating good sushi. I really like sushi

20. What perfume do you wear?

I don't. I usually just shower and smell like Carissa. (I'm quoting friends) although sometimes I spray VS perfume on my clothes just so I can use it up but I don't wear it out.

Ok! Yay! End of quiz. Gonna sleep now.

Night lovelies!

xx,

2 more weeks.

Thursday, February 12, 2015 @ 9:14 AM with 0 comment(s)

Visualizing myself on the soft grass, above me, the blue sky

Surrounded by flowers, the small soft ones that tickle your feet.

The smell of cookies. The smell of water. The smell of happiness.

Imagining myself submitting everything, ending that final presentation with a thank you.

I can finally breathe.

I am free.

xx,

Countdown.

Sunday, January 25, 2015 @ 11:36 AM with 0 comment(s)

Hello everyone, I haven't written in forever.

F Y P.

These three letters when put together has been something that I've never wanted and always wondered how I was going to face it.

I knew the minute I entered this course, that I would have to face it but it's crazy how fast time flies by, and before you know it, it's exactly a month to my submission.

I know God has seen me through these 2 years, and I still cling on to the belief that I was put here for a reason, and that one month more is more than possible for God to see me through, as is everything else.

But it's some nights like these where there's this feeling of like. Worry and maybe even helplessness just seem to overcalm me and I just feel so alone, empty and tired.

Don't get me wrong, I'm aware im not alone, I know that I have amazing people who would be there both physically and emotionally there for me in a heartbeat, I know that I shouldn't feel empty but idk. ): I don't know why I'm feeling this way. And I don't like it.

I guess. Maybe there's some hinderance or blockage that is stopping me. Or maybe it's something that I haven't fully let go of. I'm really not sure. But I'm scared.

Letting go isn't something im very good at doing. And a lot of times, it's not something that I want to do. ): sigh.

Oh well. I don't really know the point of this post, but at this moment I'm just having a bit of a ramble.

Going to have to wake up tomorrow and start on work.

Sidenote: I saw a quote from the book: "Quiet." Lol. It was interesting because that book reminded me of some things.

I hope that your week is going to be really great.

xx,

I'm moving?