Euphoria .

Tuesday, March 12, 2013 @ 5:32 AM with 0 comment(s)

HAROWS.
So, I've been blog hopping on random people's blog. Via twitter, fb, blablabla. Yeah. #StalkerSoh. Deal with it. But anyways. Fun Fact(or not.) : I actually really enjoy doing these kinda question things So yeah, here I go. (:

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

I think both are difficult. I guess when someone tells me how they feel, I always get really nervous because I'm so afraid that it's going to be something negative, something that I can't accept, or a feeling that I can't return. I hate hurting people who matter. I really hate it. And when I tell someone how I feel, honestly, so far it's not been good news. And I've never confessed to anyone before, so, yeah.

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I don't think I get angry really often, and I feel hurt more than angry. And I don't think I've gotten to the point where I wanted to kill someone for what they did, but I realise on all the instances I was angry, it was when I wasn't appreciated. 3 instances came to mind, and all of them were people who I love dearly, some who I would give up my life for, telling me I didn't appreciate them, that I wasn't trying, that I put others over them, that they feel I treat other people are more important then them. That hurt. that hurt so very very bad. And I was really pissed. Right now, even thinking about it, yes. I do feel angry, angry that they can't say I'm trying, angry that they can't see how much I care for them, angry that my efforts aren't enough. But I don't think that can change how much I love them, because, well, they matter just that much to me.

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

I'd call my house phone and talk to whoever picks up. I'm hoping it will be my brother, because I've never been one to show much affection to him, and yes, I wasn't very nice to him growing up although he's always been treating me so well. I would tell him that I love him, and that he has to tell mum and dad in a calm fashion the situation. And also to pray for me that I'm able to get back.

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I'm hoping that he won't be right. haha. but. I'll tell my parents first and my best friends. I'll write a letter to everyone I know telling them how special they are, how they are loved and how they matter, and spend the rest of my days sharing the gospel. (: I'm not afraid of death, but I will want to know that they people I leave behind won't give up just because I'm gone.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.

Trust. I say this because I don't need everyone to love me, but I do hope that everyone will be able to trust me, that they see me as a person who can be trusted. And it's impossible to have love without trust, so, the question is kind of rhetorical.

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life? Why or Why not?

I'd definitely stop to help the dog or get someone else who can. And if I do get fired for being late because I tried to save a life, I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't want to work for a heartless boss anyway. Who fires someone for saving a life?

7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?

The one I love the most. Trust is a hard thing to earn. And if you love the person enough, you will automatically forgive them.

8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?

It's happened before and it messed up our friendship so bad. I think that both of us were at fault in the way we handled it and ended up avoiding each other for the longest time. The scars left behind are something that even a thousand apologies can never remove, but right now, we're trying to make things right, and I'm hoping he believes in second chances too. Even though we can't be 'best friends', but I'm hoping things will fall back into place before they fell apart.

9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not?

I don’t know anyone close to me that just died recently, whom I'm ready to give up a year of my life and I don't think I would. I honestly don't think that they person would want me to do that and that extra given hour would be enough for me to tell them everything I ever wanted to tell them. And with that thought, I don't want to need that extra hour to tell them things I never did, but to be able to do it now when there's still time.

10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

I think yes, because when a person is my friend, I would go out of my way for them.

11. Does love = sex?

No. It never was and never should be.

12. Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or why not?

No. I wouldn't. For the fact that I was there for a longer time, it means that I'm an important part of the company and that I deserve my job. I too have myself and family to support, although I may help the person to find another job if it's within my means.

13. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Last month I think. Won't say who but basically I had to tell the person I didn't feel the same way. I tried to do that in the best way possible after weeks of running that conversation in my head. It hurt really bad. When you break someone's heart, you break your own.

14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite/same sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?

To tell them "I do not love them back.", just because I know how hard and painful it is to feel rejected or to feel unimportant/special. I know I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to return a feeling, but. yeah.

15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

A close friendship. I take my friendships very seriously. And I will not give up a close friendship without trying my utmost best.

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

Er. My good friend who was having suicidal thoughts.

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

I can't think of one last month...maybe starting earlier on my p2?

18. Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you wish was there with you?

Er. My daddy. then he can chance the person away. hee.

19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or why not?

Yeah sure. I know CPR so...yeah. I'm hoping I'll never have to.

21. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

I'd never want to be in such a position to have the decision to choose who lives. But my grandmother, just because I know her and she raised me. Why would I be holding the hand of a newborn idk anyways?

22. Are you old fashioned?
Um. I think I'm not liberal. And that even without my parent's constant watchful eye, there are things which are "normal" in society that I don't agree with.

23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

Um, when I gave up my seat? haha. idk. Since when do you help people to get favors in return?

24. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

True love with a guarantee of a broken heart. I like CS.Lewis's quote of how "to love is to be vulnerable".
Which I shall copy and paste. (:

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

So yeah. I'm hoping that this love will be due to a broken heart of the person leaving because of death.

25. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

This is too important a question which I will need more time to think about. haha. (:

Yupp! That's about it.
These few days have been pretty fun. With the design talks, class BBQ, stuff like that.
This few months of holiday seem to be pretty good. (: Blog again soon!

xx.

twentyfive questions.