Euphoria .

Sunday, January 5, 2014 @ 10:41 AM with 0 comment(s)

Hi. Here's a bigass photo of me, and Astraeus on my shoulder to start my first blog post of the year.

I think I've said in a lot of different places what 2013 was to be. To be honest it wasn't a very outstanding year although some of my most outstanding moments are from this year.

Other than me realizing a lot of things, 2013 is actually the year where I felt the least and the most at the same time.

(Lol. This can be seen two ways. Me trying to be deep and philosophical or me being confused and bipolar)

So what do I mean?

At any point in time throughout 2013, I either felt really confused, really contented or really loved.

Up to this my point in life, I've never experienced being so confused about many things.

About why certain things happen to me. About why I feel so insecure sometimes. What I really wanted and why God wanted to take them away from me. Why God wanted to take Patches away from me this year. Why I was feeling what I did, and if it was right

This however, followed, thankfully by God's grace, by me being contented. Contented with what course I was in, the presence of people around me, no matter how short or limited it may be. Contented with me just waking up and being alive another day.

This year however, was also the year I felt the most loved. I realised how much my parents have sacrificed for me and how thankful I am for that. It's really not easy living with me 24/7 for so many years and I'm so thankful for their tolerance for me. I also feel that my brother's relationship and mine has gotten better in a strange way. haha.

There are lots of other moments where I felt really loved. It's 2013 that I truly understood what it meant to feel loved, to want to love someone, and how amazing it is.

"Love isn't a feeling"

That was always head knowledge for me until 2013.

It's not the love that sustains the promise, it's the promise that sustains the love.

I really can't explain it all here because it'll get too cheesy and embarrassing so...yeah...I won't.

(Hi Leanna. I know you're reading this too. Yes I love you too.)

I wish everyone could fall in love at least once, because it's seriously one of the most amazing things in the world.

I foresee 2014 being one of the toughest years yet, but I can't give up, and I won't because there's so so so much for me in the future and exciting years ahead which I want to live and experience, and also, because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

xx,

Twentyfourteen.